He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
