the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
