I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh god it's open bar.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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