It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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