Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
