Just cropdusted the office
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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