You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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