a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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