I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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