Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
