how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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