ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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