Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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