cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
