Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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