Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
