so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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