Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
