i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
