I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
