And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
