you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
