3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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