pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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