so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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