Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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