the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
