I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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