at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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