Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
