'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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