so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
