well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
