Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
