I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
