god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
