I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
