Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
love makes seman taste better
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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