Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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