She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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