I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
