you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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