Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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