why didn't you poke me back
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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