she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
