i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
