I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize