No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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