just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
