Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
honey bunches of taint.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
