dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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