you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
