So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
