im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Panties = found
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
