i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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