That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
