It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize