Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize