dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
