Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
MIDGETS
????
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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