I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
