Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
