Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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