I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
