just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
